The Perfect Lover
by Dreaming Rose
Summary: Inspired by Absolute Boyfriend. They are on the lookout for new ideas for their company, which manufactures lovers catered to a specific person. In a random survey, one Haruno Sakura poses a challenge: To create a person who is both Naruto and Sasuke.


AN: As the summary says, this was inspired by Absolute Boyfriend, but mostly for the whole create-your-own-boyfriend theme, and perhaps some scattered references here and there. I rated this M mostly because the new guidelines say that M is for anyone above 16, so it does not necessarly mean lemons galore. I do feel I have to warn you, this chapter is OC focused, and the main character will be an OC too. It's unusual for me too, but I do ask you give them a chance. Their importance is not above the canons, and I did try to make them as enjoyable as possible. This is a Dramedy, with Drama and Comedy elements, mostly written for fun. Criticism, so long as it is fair and not too abusive, is encouraged. Thank you.

Part One: The Challenge

He walked around the class, handing out the slips of paper to each student sitting at their desk. What an unusual way to end the day; a survey on what would make the perfect lover, and while it was not lengthy, it definitely went deep and personal (with some of it being questionable for school content). Yet, if they asked why they were being made to answer it, their teacher would suspiciously avoid answering; only saying 'you must'. What the class didn't know was that the situation was the same all across the school. Every teacher was in that absent state of mind, sitting in their chairs and looking out towards the students with a glossy gaze as they wrote on these mandatory surveys. Being the teenagers that they were, most dismissed it and filled it out anyways. It was a topic related to their interests, after all, with discussion on what so-and-so put on question six, did the description match so-and-so's girlfriend, etc. Heck, rather a silly little survey than a math test, right? Not everyone filled it out, but a majority did.

A blonde girl turned in her seat, peering over at the empty spaces of her best friend's paper. "Nothing, Sakura? Come on, have some fun with it." Noticing that that her friend was not looking at her, she waved her hand in front of her face. "Hellooo? Do you even hear me?"

"I do hear you." She replied, with a touch of annoyance. It wasn't that she didn't want to fill it out, but rather that she was thinking about it. What exactly was it that she wanted from a boyfriend? Or rather, as the page was entitled, what did she want from the 'Perfect Lover'? Not even her hormones could decide that question, as Sakura had fallen for two very different types of guys. Naruto or Sasuke: that was the question. Now, what was her answer?

The bell rang, and they each submitted their papers in, though the teacher hardly moved from his still position, merely nodding to any farewell sent his way. While they were discussing answers, Sakura crumpled up hers and threw it discreetly into the recycling bin. She ended up not answering any of the questions, at least, not directly. Throughout the period all she did was doodle on it and write down one simple sentence.

'If a person could be Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke, then that would be my perfect lover.'

The student body across Konoha High split to go home, hang out, or head into their extracurricular activities. If there was one thing to say about the school, it was that it was full of spirited people. Even though the bell had long since rung, and they could have been at home lounging about, there were many who chose to get passionately involved in their area of interest and so the school was still buzzing with teen life. It was only until much later in the day, in the evening, that not a single soul was to be found. The halls that once echoed with gossip and loud voices were eerily silent-silent, perhaps, until the most unusual thing happened.

From every desk and every bin, all throughout the classes and some corners of the school, a faint light emitted from every survey. They rose, and the doors once locked burst open one by one. Together in hordes they flew out, projected by some unknown force, whizzing together throughout the large school. Then, in unison, every window slid open and out went these papers, but as soon as they left the enclosed space of the school they became transparent, flying together unseen by the masses of the city below. If it could be seen, it would have been a spectacle to behold. Konoha High was not the only school they flew from; in the air above surveys from every school all over Japan came together, all travelling to the same place. Up, up, up into the sky, until they reached a barrier. Coincidently, a plane happened to fly by, but went right through as though there was nothing but air. No, the place they went to took vast measures in ensuring its secrecy. This place to where all the surveys go was the HQ for the Japan sector of the Heavenly Company. The corporate building, though large, held a surprisingly small number of people. As the papers all phased through the walls, they headed to the room that held a huge computer and nothing else. The head of the sector watched the screen. Each paper slid into a slot at a rapid pace, and correspondingly foreign words and pictures of each person who wrote it appeared on the large, blaring screen.

The man rubbed his chin, the glare of the screen reflecting in his brown eyes. He was completely absorbed in the information being presented to him. Little 'ah's and 'I see's and 'how typical's accompanied the sound of the swooshing paper and the beeping sounds of the computer. For a long time that was how it stayed, until one assistant clumsily made her entrance.

"Master Gin, have the results come in-omph!" She fell down, but instead of landing on her face, there was a gigantic cushion that kept her from doing so. Her chest made a 'boing' sound as it was smooshed by the impact, and her abnormally long green hair blanketed her entire body, while still managing to stream out far around her onto the floor. "Eep!"

He turned toward her, annoyed, but then alarmed. "Belldrop! What... What the heck? I thought I told you to research on the perfect body for a Japanese female, what is this?"

The girl pushed herself up, standing with her long legs, tiny waist, and of course, the large chest that was defying gravity and with each movement, making that 'boing' sound. "I did, I did! You told me to look at media, and plenty of girls were like this!" Her violet eyes became large, her lower lip pouting. "Especially in hentai, where I could get the most details-"

"AAAAH!" Gin gripped his brown hair, shaking his head. "No no no! I meant using real life models! Why do you never think?" He sighed deeply, rubbing his temples. "And it's going to be another four months until you can safely change your form. How come you didn't take this into consideration, hmm?" He glared at her.

"I... I was thinking! We are working with fantasies, and are not animated women in those kind of perverse situations the 'ideal' bodies a man would desire? I spent so much research on this figure, and while I still have to adjust to it, I can move around efficiently in the next four months! Why must you always criticize me?" All she was met with was a loud 'SHHH!' to which she grumbled about unfair dictators. Master Gin was back to looking at the screen. Not trusting herself with walking, she levitated over to hover beside him, looking at the screen.

"I still don't understand why we need surveys. Most students just scribble junk on them, and how can we know for sure they are honest with their feelings?" She rested her chin on his shoulder, peeking over curiously. "We should be sending down our little bots to spy and get proper information on them."

"Now, now, Belldrop. This is a way we get answers from those who choose to provide them. We must have faith in our subjects if we are to take an ethical approach." He raised his finger as he spoke, smirking.

She blinked. "But, Master, hypnotizing the staff of the schools to distribute the surveys, taking the genetic information of those who wrote them, and collecting even from those who discarded them, which clearly did not intend to provide that information... that was all ethical?"

There was silence. She waited expectantly, staring at him. He blinked at her.

"Belldrop, who is the master here?"

"You are, sir..."

"So who does the thinking around here?"

"Well, I just think-"

"You think too much. Now hush, I'm trying to work here."

Indignation made her pretty eyes cross. "You just said I don't think enough!"

"I said hush. Why don't you go make me a sandwich from the kitchen? You'll be useful there." He wasn't looking at her, even as she broke out into a fit of angry tears.

"I hate you for life!" She ran out of the room, the sound of her sobs drowned out by the sound of her chest. Why she ever listened to that man, she'd never know, but she made his stupid sandwich alright. He said nothing about not adding a touch of laxatives to the mayo. She spread it along the bread, vengeful and chuckling to herself at the image of his agony. The tainted sandwich was complete, and so she came back into the room, cheerful as ever, floating to his side and holding out the plate for him.

"Here you are!" She kept up an expression of utter sweetness as he took the plate. She watched intently, that expression growing more and more maniacal as he slowly lifted the sandwich to his mouth. Closer... Closer... The fool wasn't even looking, so absorbed in his silly little monitor; ah she could just taste revenge...

"Hold it!" Gasp, was she found out? Gin put it back on the plate, using the hand to point toward the screen. All at once, by his command, the screen paused along with the surveys. "Quick, tell me, have we ever combined people before?"

The halt in her evil plan made her blank out momentarily, though she was startled back into motion by his loud voice. "Well?"

"Yes... Some want this celebrity's hair and that celebrity's smile and that celebrity's di-"

"No no, like actually trying to combine two people!"

"Erm, no sir..." She was confused. Why would they do that when they could just construct anything they wanted? Figuring that the particular survey held the answer, she flew up toward the large screen, reading. "If a person could be both... Hmm, well it would certainly be interesting. Really all we'd do is combine the genetic material of the two boys and try to insert as many of their traits as possible, would we not? I was thinking you meant actually taking two people and going 'Fu-sion-hah!'"

Gin watched, not amused and rather disturbed when the girl lifted her fingers in the air and tilted her body to one side. "That's it. No more of that anime stuff for you."

"No please! I'll be a good girl!" He walked out of the room, with her trailing after him in protest. It was decided, then. Ms. Haruno Sakura had posed the challenge, and Master Gin was in the mood to reply. They would do their best to create a man who could be both Naruto and Sasuke for her, but first, they had to some… Research.

Part Two: Espionage

Today was quite the eventful day, one Bio class. Instead of their usual teacher, a man looking to be in his mid-thirties stood up in the front with a white lab coat, having the odd habit of suddenly smacking the meter stick into the blackboard, as if it somehow added to his point. Really, it just made everyone a little jumpy. He was their temporary substitute; it seemed that Mr. Kishimoto had a change of heart and was off to write some story involving ninjas. Clearly a bad career choice, but who could keep the man from quitting? So, Mr. Masugin (what an odd name) was going to teach them for the time being, but that was not all that happened that day. They had another new face arriving, or, they would notice that it was a new face, were it not for the fact that there was just something so distracting about her…. Many people in the class didn't know whether to be turned on or bewildered beyond belief as a girl with long legs, large hips, tiny waist, an oh-my-goodness-bust, and green haired appeared in their school uniform which had to have been custom tailored to fit… She was pretty for sure, but the most unusual thing they've seen and that was saying something for this school.

"Hi!" She said sweetly, waving enthusiastically to the class as she stood at the front. "My name is Kiki Yona, nice to meet you. Please take care of me…"

Masugin cleared his throat. "And you please take a seat, thank you." She took the lone seat in the corner, unaware of the wide eyes following her or the jaws dropping, accompanied by whispers of 'How?' and 'Do you SEE her?' She just took her seat and scanned the room, finding one of her targets. Perhaps the only boy there who had enough modesty (though he was a little unnerved, perhaps) not to be obvious about the shock, Uchiha Sasuke sat quietly waiting for the lesson to begin. While she sat in the chair, large chest propped against the desk, her violet eyes drank in the dark-haired boy's appearance. She was gauging his weight and height, numeric figures dancing before her eyes, measuring all the proportions visible to her. That part was easy; unfortunately, it would take more to get data on his personality…

She was close enough to lean over and poke his shoulder. He quirked an eyebrow over at her, glancing over her a moment, and didn't look too pleased at being poked out of the blue, nor too impressed when she started waving her hand quickly.  
"Hi, my name is Kiki Yona." She whispered, sounding quite chipper.  
"I know, you just told everyone." He responded, his voice dull and hardly amused.

She bonked herself on the head with her fist, laughing a little. "Silly me, of course… Well, I'm new here."

"I realize that too." Wow, he wasn't humouring her at all. Was he annoyed with her already?

"Yes, and since I'm new I was wondering if you could show me around the school a bit, you know?" She clasped her hands together, blushing. To that Sasuke 'hmphed' a bit and turned his head back to the paper. She blinked. "Umm…?"

"You didn't even ask for my name, and yet you're asking me to show you around?" Belldrop nearly choked, embarrassed by the blunder. "They give you a map of the school with the timetable. People learn best when they try to figure things out on their own first."

She pouted. He was so direct, but that was kind of attractive in a way, was it not? The dark, brooding type who won't be a softy for anyone, until that special someone comes along... Oooh, they were always her favourite in dating sims! Her spirits went back up, and she took mental notes of his character traits. Throughout the class she gathered two things; he was not easily distracted, and would work hard all throughout the period. If he was called upon for a question, which Master Gin—erm, Masugin-sensei did, he would answer each question flawlessly. He must have been a very good student, and the murmurs from his admirers reinforced that.

Well, History was fun, sort of. If that rotten Masugin-sensei called on her he always embarrassed her. She hadn't downloaded the curriculum yet, how was she supposed to know anything? Apparently her made-up attempts were silly, as the reactions from her 'peers' told her. She just puffed up her cheeks and said nothing. One day Masugin-sensei would get what he deserved… She got to escape him quickly, though! She was in Math class next, and that was where she found her next target, along with their customer of sorts. They were sitting together, and just like in History she introduced herself, but Naruto was different in his reaction. The blonde and the roseate were nearly identical in their expressions. Those wide eyes, slightly agape mouths, but while Sakura quickly turned her head away, Naruto kept staring.

"Erm, hi!" He said, a nervous laugh following while she took her seat beside him. "So you're Kiki Yona, huh?"  
"That's what I just said!" She replied with a bright smile, and he scratched the back of his neck.  
"Right, right… You're new here?"  
"Said that too." How funny! This situation felt oddly familiar…

If this were an anime, she could picture that he'd have a sweatdrop at the side of his head right now. The image almost fit perfectly. "Well, lemme see what classes you have. Maybe if we have some of the same you can tag along and I can show you around a bit—well, you know what I mean, eheh…"

"Being very friendly to the new girl, aren't you Naruto?" One slightly disgruntled Sakura muttered darkly beside him.

He laughed. "When you say it like that it sounds like I'm not usually friendly."

She 'hmphed', and turned her head in the opposite direction. "No, I'm just saying, is all…"

Belldrop had to giggle. Naruto was totally clueless that Sakura was jealous that he was noticing her and being all nice. Must be hard for such a flat-chested girl to be competing against such a big-chested girl. She was planning to spend a lot more time with Naruto, but fortunately not planning to take anyone away. They'd lose customers if she did. So, she slipped Naruto her timesheet and found out they only had one other class together. There was always lunchtime, too, to assess personality traits in person, but she would have to rely on other means as well… As they were parting, she 'accidently' brushed up against him, and while he was distracted by her mammoth chest being pressed up against him, she slipped a nano bot onto his shoulder, which quickly went into camouflage mode.

'Kukuku…' She hoped the little machine would get her some good footage. Oh no! She was going to be late!

Part Three: Conception

Her head was down against the desk, dozing off with a pen in her hand and a cheek soaking up the ink from her paper. A loud noise startled her as a certain idiot master of hers burst in through the door, waking her from her loli-hentai dreams.

"Wazzhappenin?" She mumbled, looking around with bleary eyes.

"What, pray tell, are you doing?" Master Gin asked, adjusting his glasses.

"History, you assigned a lot of homework, remember?"

"AAAAAAAH!" She didn't bother ducking when he threw a pen at her. It bounced off her head. "It's been one week! You should have a full portfolio! Enough for our creation! Why do you lag?" She yawned and scratched her head, not at all perturbed by his outbursts. She was sleepy and was not responding as she usually did.

Belldrop stretched her arms out over her head. "I was having fun socializing, sir. It's really hard balancing school, a social life, and a love life on top of that." She heard him sputter.

"L-Love life?"

"Mhm… Captain of the swim team, too. We're going on a date tomorrow~" Another pen was thrown her way.

"You insolent fool! You are not there to 'socialize' or date some hormonal jock. Besides, I always thought you had it in for the brainy types—men of science."

"I did until they hurt me." She pouted.

Master Gin cleared his throat. "Nevermind that now, what do you have that we can work off of?"

This was where Belldrop grinned slyly, rather proud of herself in actuality. "I have the traits for you. My little darlings came in use, didn't you my precious dears?" She used her nail to pet a tiny bug-like machine as it crawled out of her pocket. "If you bothered to check your memos, you'd know that I put it on your desk. The papers are arranged in accordance to most dominant traits. I cross-examined the similarities and differences between the two boys for you in the concluding papers. I trust you can deal with that?"

Master Gin eyed her, squinting behind his glasses. "You know, you are very different when you just wake up… Never mind, I shall look to those right away. Join me in you-know-which room in half an hour. So help you science if you're late!" He turned and took a few steps out the door.

"Shhh… Let's not listen to that nasty old man." She cooed to her little bug machines.

"I heard that!"

So, half an hour had elapsed and Belldrop found herself in the conception room. She was perfectly on time, and took glee in the fact that Master seemed pouty that he couldn't punish any tardiness. The conception room had a computer that had tubes running from the side into this red, veiny bag that resembled something like a womb. From this sac ran various other tubes into the floor, ceiling, and opposite walls, held up mid-air and pulsing. Master Gin was sitting at the computer, feeding some paper through.

"Converted the information already?" She spoke, watching the papers go in and then red, gushy matter being expelled from the computer through the tubes and into the womb.

"Yes, and after speed-watching all the clips that your bots have taken on the Uchiha and the Uzumaki, I have concluded that we have enough research to proceed. I also added in SMSEMSSPAM." At the mention of the nearly nonsensical name, Belldrop gasped.

"That's still in the experimental stages."

"But it will be the perfect add-on for him to learn through his experiences with Sasuke and Naruto. To imitate and take in the information through interaction is a valuable tool… We may as well use him as a test subject, seeing how much of an experiment he is already." Master Gin responded, too focused on what was doing to be snarky. The green-haired female simply nodded.

"Yes, it will be up to him to fill in the data gaps, but we've given our little creation enough to get a great start." They stood, watching as red matter kept pumping into the pulsing womb through one tube, and at the press of a button the various other tubes sent out rushing fluid of all sorts of colours. This goo combined, as if wrestling, into the womb, getting more and more compact. They knew it was done when the decreasing ball shone an intense light, glowed, and became too small for their natural eyes to see. With another press of the button, the tubes let go of the womb, suspended in mid-air, and the sac dropped into a hole through the ground. A distant splash was heard, and the hole in the ground closed.

"And now, we wait. Development should take a week. You can provide the necessary bots during that time, right?" Belldrop nodded again.

"At what time during development should we add them in?" She asked.

"The very last day before the release—a simple injection will do. We need to make sure it doesn't go rouge like the one of '87 did."

"A dark day indeed…" There was silence.

"So, do you want to go grab a cup of coffee?"

"No, I have homework to do; got to make sure that I'm all free for tomorrow's date!"

Master Gin was in a foul mood for the rest of the day.


End file.
